FLS – Responding to Questions & Accusations

There are 5 different types of response people most often apply when responding to difficult questions and/or accusations:

1. Factual
2. Aggressive/hostile
3. Judgemental
4. Reassuring/pacification
5. Empathetic

Factual and Empathetic responses are typically the most effective ones to apply. However, sometimes you may not have the facts or you may be unsure of the appropriate empathetic response to reflect back, In these situations a helpful alternative is:

• A closed question, as an alternative to a factual response
• An open question as an alternative to an empathetic response.

It is worth remembering that aggressive/hostile and judgmental responses generally escalate a situation or shut the other person down – either way, as a minimum they generally negatively impact any rapport that has been established.

Whilst a reassuring/pacifying response can often seem a preferable choice, many times it can feel dismissive of the seriousness of their concerns to the other person. It also never lessens the perceived difficulty the other person is experiencing – and so this response tends to reassure the giver more than the receiver.