In the first few days and weeks after experiencing significant distress our brain and our body are functioning differently. As a consequence, most people report that they struggle to think clearly, they cannot relax, they deliberately avoid people and places, and they often feel both on-edge and fatigued all at the same time.

When things feel difficult like this, the most effective way to help your body and brain recover is to begin with small, simple steps. Using easy wins on a daily basis to help recovery, until you feel able to do more. The approach we use is our ‘MESS Rule’.

M.E.S.S. Rule

At SafeHaven we use our ‘keep it simple’ MESS rule to help recover from an acute stress reaction.

Because stress involves a physical reaction in the body and brain, there are 4 basic strategies that help to first manage, and then reduce, the impact of stress. These strategies focus on managing the physical stress response and aim to help you take some control with respect to:

Move: Exercise your body
Eat: What you choose to eat
Sleep: The quality of your sleep
Stay social: Staying connected with others

MESS: Move, Eat, Sleep, Stay social

Move

‘High alert’ is achieved by the brain keeping our stress hormones higher – the adrenaline and cortisol mentioned earlier. Moving is an effective way to lower those higher levels, which in turn will also help sleep and digestion. However, not all exercise is created equal here. In order to lower stress hormones – the type of exercise must ‘burn off’ the excess and not cause more stress hormones to be released. This means no high intensity or HIIT workouts for the immediate term.

If you can find a type of exercise you enjoy that also raises your heart rate to a moderate level that will be a great choice. The rule of thumb here is that you should still be able to hold a conversation whilst exercising – if you cannot, your heart rate is too high. And if you have not exercised before – then you might want to speak to your GP to get advice on this before starting out.

Move your body

Try and stay active – it can be easy to shut down and not want to move after a traumatic experience – but moving helps us in recovery.
Choose moderate heart-rate type activities; avoid HIIT workouts when highly stressed as they increase stress hormones.
Choose activities that are simple or that you have done previously, which will be easy and familiar.

Eat

The state of ‘high alert’ we remain in for a while after a distressing experience also affects our gut. Digestion slows down whilst, at the same time, we are using much more energy. This is why people can often have bloating or gut-pain when they try and eat, and why people find they crave foods high in energy.

A few simple steps can help you to eat and remain energised:

Eating

Eat regularly – little yet often can work well; as digestion will likely have slowed down significantly.
Understand your body may crave foods high in sugar and fat as it is burning more energy right now.
Ensure you drink enough water.
Avoid excessive consumption of alcohol and caffeine.

Sleep

After a traumatic event our brain insists we remain on ‘high alert’ for a whilst afterwards – to ensure we really are safe. This means we have higher amounts of stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, in our system. This also means we use up more energy in the day and become more fatigued on a daily basis; yet we also cannot sleep as well because we remain on ‘high alert’.

By focusing on getting rest and helping yourself get at least some sleep where you can, you can minimise the disruption to your sleeping pattern and reduce the level of fatigue you experience. Remember to check out ‘Sleep’ in the wellbeing hub, but here are some simple ideas to get you started – remember to keep it simple:

Sleeping

Aim to stay close to your usual sleep routine.
Have time-out from devices an hour before you want to sleep.
Cut out caffeine at least 8 hours before you want to sleep.
Before bed stick to light snacks and warm milky drinks.
Block out excessive light and as much distracting noise as possible.

Saying social

The brain keeps us on ‘high alert’ for a while after a traumatic incident, because it wants to ensure we are truly safe. Whilst on high-alert the brain views the world as a more threatening place, and so withdrawing from it is a natural short-term strategy to help keep you safe. This means you might find yourself saying no to invitations to connect with colleagues or friends, wanting to ‘opt-out’ of social occasions instead of joining in. Whilst taking a step back can be incredibly helpful in the short -term – it is important to not step-back from everyone.

Staying connected to people you trust and value and where you feel that is reciprocated is the single most helpful action we can take after experiencing distress. So, even if this seems difficult, find where you can reach out to for support. This might be family or close friends or colleagues, or it might be a trusted volunteer service, such as the Samaritans.

Staying socially connected

Use technology and reach out and talk with people that matter to you.
Consider who you have around you who helps you feel safe and who you trust – spend time with them.
Allow those who you trust and feel safe around to support you – it can be very easy to isolated ourselves.